Classic Velocity

A variety of product peddlers and institutions have tried to tell you the best way to start your day. They range from coffee producers “The best way to start your day is Folgers….”, to breakfast cereal producers “Breakfast of Champions…”, to hotels “Awake fully refreshed and recharged..”, to the Surgeon General “Eating a healthy breakfast is a good way to start the day….” They are all wrong of course. The best way to start your day is by exceeding 100MPH using a vintage vehicle. Here is the recipe :

1. Add a tablespoon of daybreak.

2. Add one teaspoon of brisk morning.

3. Ladle in 37 miles of deserted country roads.

4. Add a generous helping of 1966-73 Porsche 911. Get the kind with carburettors if possible.

5. Mix ingredients by hand.

6. Warm the tires.

7. Now add a 1.3 mile straight with a slight left hand kink beside a river.

8. Carefully introduce throttle and increase to taste.

9. Careful with the Cajones, they are potent and can overpower the whole recipe.

If you would like to add some flair, you can then follow up with a gathering of the Erste Gruppe crew (these guys are cuckoo for cocoa mats!), a rare steering wheel clinic, bump-starting Luke’s hotrod, and oogling not one, but two sportomatic cars. If you wanted to go over the top, you could finish with a romp back home with more 100MPH vitamins and minerals. Forget the gym, forget a balanced nutritional meal, this is how to start your day. 10 out of 10 Velocitologists owners agree.