Classic Velocity

Have you ever faced a problem with having enough space? The Classic Velocity research department (which does not exist) indicates that 96.3% of our readers (we made this up) have a current or past problem with space. Further, very few of you are multi-millionaires, or you would not face this problem (the department does produce unassailable logic). Even the best of friends will not indulge you leaving machines and parts scattered about their premises indefinitely. Commercial storage options can get pricey, and jockeying things around (particularly non-running things) is time consuming. Plus, knowing where things are at any given point is a challenge. Twice in the past month (that is 100% of the time according to the research department, since we were only asked twice) we have uttered the words “Yes, we have one of those, but we are not sure where it is or how long it might take me to find it”. This is simply a more irritating version of “No, I don’t have one”, because it instills hope. But I digress. Here are the Classic Velocity top ten options for strategic space management.

1. A large property with trees, hedges, and an old out building or two. A good friend has used this technique effectively for years, such that his wife was unaware of 20+ vehicles on their property. You may look like a good candidate for a stop by American Pickers, but all of your stuff is close at hand and ready for the 417 projects you will never get to.
2. “Those belong to –insert name here—“. Another tried and true technique for storing items in plain sight. The corollary of course is to find a friend who can do this.
3. Purchase a business that uses a warehouse. This takes some advance planning for the correct career choice, but a surprising number of friends have appropriated an area of their business for the storage and positioning of vintage iron. A few have even grown to like the business they are in.
4. Befriend a self-storage mogul. Start by being a very good customer, and then parlay this into deep discounts and temporary “transition” spaces. encourage them to take up the hobby, so that they can become empathetic (not to mention their own best customer).
5. Scatter vehicles and parts around a region. This avoids placing too great a burden on any one friend or place. Resist the temptation to use places where you may have romantic involvements. Never place an angry ex between you and your twin Webers.
6. Go in with a few like-minded buddies. Be very careful here. Like-minded people think like you do, and the next thing you know, some rusty British manifold is infecting your pristine pedal cluster, or prancing horses are postulating on your pistons.
7. Purchase vintage iron and never pick it up. We have seen this successfully parlayed into a few years of free storage using phrases like “I will be back for that in the spring”, or “I’ll be right back, I forgot my winch”. Careful omission of the year and vague terminology is key (see How long is Now?)
8. Buy a large enclosed trailer. The closer you can get to a semi-truck trailer, the better. It can be relocated, and is sort of like a portable shed or warehouse. Of course, if you actually need a trailer sometimes, you can rent one.
9. Convert your house.  An acquaintance in New Jersey converted his entire basement into a parts warehouse, and his one-car garage into a three car garage using a lift and some remodeling. That house contained the inventory of a couple dealerships he bought out. From the outside, it looked conventional, but once you went downstairs, wow!! A few friends have been able to position their projects as fine art, thereby invading living spaces.  Of course, these approaches require a cooperative significant other, or a willingness to remain single.
10. Get lots of money. Preferably by legitimate methods, but get enough to build whatever you want wherever you want, buy an old hangar from the airport, etc. We recently got a few issues of Garage Style magazine, and they have many much more elegant solutions to the problem.  A great variation on this theme is to start a museum.